Love marriage is allowed in Islam provided the love doesn't cross Islamicboundaries and enter into the haraam. What people findmore difficult is determining whether or not they are crossing boundaries.
"The Prophet SAW said it is better for a man to have a steel nail driven through his head then to touch the palm of a strange woman. hadith"
It is true that even hand shaking or hand holding between non - mahrams of opposite gender is not allowed. So if you are holding her hands then yes you are crossing limits and it is haraam.
There are also levels of zina - which are haraam.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5889; Muslim, 2657.
Talking to her casually or lovingly is also not permissible.
The correct way to approach her Islamically is through her family. When you have done this you can meet her with her family present and speak to her in this setting. It is not permissible for a man and a woman to be alone together if they are non-mahram. They must have a third party present - ideally the girl's mahram. Brother if you truly love this girl, show it by respecting her. It is not right for you to be meeting her behind her family's back (both Islamically and morally) and holding hands with her etc.
An advice to you is to refrain from contacting her. Give her the reasons and if you are interested in getting to know her for marriage then do ask her if you can speak to her family with the intention of getting to know her for marriage. Not necessarilymarriage. But you have a right to meet girls in the proper Islamic way and find out if you are compatibile and if she is wife material.
As for keeping contact with this girl you can meet her with your families' present and speak to her then as long as the talk does not fall into the haraam.
If you really love her honour her by requesting to speak to her family and seeking her hand in marriage. Look to try and make her your wife rather than your secret girlfriend.
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